Mar/101
A Vow of Silence
I’ve always been a dreamer and I’ve always been a talker. Even as a youngin’ I’d blabber on about all the great ideas I had. Like a toy Ghostbuster’s trap that would actually open and light up when you stepped on the pedal. Boy was I sure sore when they came out with it and didn’t give me any credit. Lots of these big ideas have come and gone over the years. Lots of other people beat me to the punch because I wasn’t even swinging.
Having a great idea feels like having a secret: it wants to be shared. A pressure starts to well up inside me and it burst forth at the slightest indication that someone might listen. It’s occurred to me more than once that my plans seem to go better if I keep them to myself, but I never thought to ask why. I’m sure there’s some fluffy new-age explanation that ties in with The Secret™. Perhaps talking about an idea reduces the vibrational strength of my intention. I can’t keep it all straight.
Learning When to Shut Up
It seems like talking shit about plans instead of talking shit about results undermines my efforts in two ways: it increases the perceived pressure to succeed and it undermines motivation. The first one’s pretty obvious I think. The more people I tell about my awesome idea for a screenplay, the more pressure I feel to pump it out.
I hate being told what to do to a pathological degree. In fact, I’m so daft that I will actually infer demands and expectations that aren’t necessarily even real. If I think people expect something from me, my initial gut reaction is often to spite them by not doing it. I’ve gotten a lot better at avoiding and overcoming that reaction, but it certainly can take a toll.
As I mentioned, I like talking about my ideas. If you know me well, you’d probably qualify that with “a lot” (emphasis in original). By not blabbering on about my next big thing until I’ve done it, I actually feel more motivated to work so that I can eventually get back to talking about how awesome all of my thoughts and opinions really are. Of course, if I’m collaborating with someone we need to talk about next steps, but my mom, dad, girlfriend, drinking buddies, roommate’s dog, and blog reader (yep, you’re the only one) don’t need to know the gory details straight away.
On that note, I’m going to go work on this awesome project I just started. I’ll tell you about it later, when it’s done.